


and it's all in my head

by SaraJaye



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Gen, Hearing Voices, Identity Issues, Introspection, Jealousy, Mamoru is complicated as fuck, post-episode, shower scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 07:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3319106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was <i>not</i> jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and it's all in my head

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an "unconsciously jealous" thing and then spiraled into...idk, Mamoru's fascinating but complicated.

_You're jealous_ , a low voice from somewhere deep in his mind mocked, and Mamoru shook his head angrily. Jealous of what? Motoki for having to deal with two crazed middle-schoolers following him around like puppies? If that silly bun-head wanted to embarrass herself that was her business.

"I only tried to get her and bigfoot to back off for Motoki's sake," he muttered into his nearly-empty coffee mug. "He'd been having enough problems with Reika going abroad without a couple of little girls chasing him."

He drained the cup and carried the mug to the sink, washing and drying it carefully before putting it back in the cabinet. What bun-head did was none of his business. She was the one always running into him, throwing things at his head, acting like a child, he would just ignore her if he could. It wasn't his fault she was such a brat.

 _You're jealous,_ the voice said, in more of a sing-song tone this time, and he growled softly. _Shut up!_  he wanted to yell, but all that would do was send the neighbors running and people would think he was crazy. And his life was complicated enough, especially today with that damn Zoisite taking the Rainbow Crystal. _I have to get it back. I only have one and even with little bits and pieces coming back I still can't figure out who I am!_  Tuxedo Mask was just a small part of it, there was someone else. Every night he dreamed of his princess he saw himself, but not as Mamoru Chiba or Tuxedo Mask.

He sighed and took off his jacket, wondering how it could smell like cherry blossoms when Tuxedo Mask was the one Zoisite attacked. He walked to the bathroom and started the shower, peeling off his black turtleneck and splashing some water on his face.

 _You can't avoid me forever, Mamoru. You know you're jealous, and you know she's not the one stalking you,_ the voice taunted, louder and firmer this time. _The pet shop, the cram school, the amusement park. You're always there long before she is, and only I know why._

"Those were just coincidences," he muttered, taking off the rest of his clothing and stepping under the water. Besides, Tuxedo Mask had to be on standby if Sailor Moon needed help.

 _Sailor Moon_...he sighed, his face growing warm as an image of the Guardian filled his mind. In the beginning she reminded him a bit of bun-head, always crying, but lately she was growing more and more into a real warrior, one who even saved his life a couple times. _Shame bun-head can't be more like Sailor Moon,_ he thought with a hollow chuckle as he ran his hand through his wet hair.

A thought came unbidden to him just then. _Could bun-head be...?_  The image of Sailor Moon faded, replaced by that annoyingly cute face and that silly giggle. Wait, cute? He shook his head, chasing the images away entirely. _What a stupid thought. Bun-head couldn't be any less than Sailor Moon if she tried._

He finished his shower quickly, dried off and pulled on his usual boxer shorts and, after thinking better of it, an old flannel shirt instead of his usual tank top. It was pretty cold tonight.

 _You know I'm right,_ the voice taunted again, but Mamoru just pulled the covers over himself and buried his head under the pillow. Tomorrow was another day, and once he had all the Rainbow Crystals and knew who he was, he wouldn't have to put up with any more of this.


End file.
